Blogging blogging blogging stuff and venting a lot too

I don't know what to write about. People are mean. It's getting kind of old.
I had a bad day.

I'm tired of people asking me how my mom is and not asking how I'm doing. I tell the same synopsis of my mother's health nearly everyday to nearly all the same people. That's really getting old.

I love my mom and it does stress me out that she's in pain and sick. But asking me how she's doing isn't helping it at all.

My least favorite part of telling people how she is, is the silence that comes after I finish my semi-memorized synopsis. The "oh-this-girls-life-is-so-hard-right-now-and-mine-isn't-quick-say-something-nice-sympathy pause". It's where they just kind of stare at me and stay silent for a minute. They think I'm going to for some reason start crying right there. I know that's what most of them think is going to happen in that period of silence after the story. But it's not. I don't cry in front of people. It's really irritating to me that others try to get me to open up to them.

Another irritating thing is when people at school somehow think it's my fault my sister did her hair differently. She saw it on project runway, liked it and therefore decided to style it that way. How is it in any way my business? Was I supposed to act like I cared how she did her hair? Am I supposed to tell her "no that's wrong?" Well, news flash high school peers:

I'm not her mother. And my mother allows her to do with her hair what she pleases. It's hair. It doesn't matter, it will grow back. Stop concerning yourself in affairs as unimportant as the state of a 15 year old girl's hair.

I'm so frustrated and angry today. I don't mean to be, but I am. It's mostly my fault because I do bottle up thoughts and the only person I really talk to is my best friend who lives in Utah. Because he doesn't do the whole stop and stare and sympathize thing. He tells me like it is, comforts me when needed and changes the subject to get my mind off it. I can vent to him and I don't have to feel awkward.

Everytime someone asks how my mom is doing, it's always 100% awkward. Because I know I don't want to do the same song and dance once again. I've posted my moms caringbridge site so many times on my facebook that if I did the "common words appearing in your status" thing, it would be mainly composed of that link.

Yet there are at least 5 people a day who ask. On sundays it's everyone (literally everyone) I come into contact with.

I almost dread human interaction now because it gets so old saying the word "tumor" or "cancer".

I miss my mom. I think that's the main part of my anger and venting on this blog tonight. I'm glad I got to see her today in the hospital.

I'm sorry I am so negative in this post, but seriously those are my feelings. It makes me really sad when I can't just go about my day and have people ask me how I'm doing. I wish they would just read her caringbridge, or even her facebook statuses and let that be enough to satisfy their meager thirst for real life drama.

That's mostly what it is you know. When women ask, they ask so they have something to talk about with someone else. That's the reason most women talk to other women.

Anyway. I'm ranting again.
In June, everything will be a little less hectic... yes??? Let's hope so.

Here's to the weekend.
Cheers.

Wait. Wait. WAIT! SLOW DOWN!

I've been sick for the last 3 school days. Not good. Now I don't have a fever and I'm feeling rather dandy. I haven't thrown up since yesterday and the headache is gone!
This means I'm crunching tonight. I'm doing all the homework for english, including my project that's due on friday. I'm studying for the three tests I missed (making them all up tomorrow during school)
I am not going to fall behind. I've been doing so well this year. Can't fail now!
I have so many more hours left to complete for senior project. That includes putting the event together and finding people to perform in it.
AH! STRESS!
SENIOR BOARDS ARE NEXT MONTH!
Oh my word. I am already exhausted. Time to get down to business.
Oh, in other news because I've been sick these last 3 days, I've lost about 7 pounds. Not good.
Time to put on some coldplay, sit in the living room, and do ALL THE HOMEWORKS!
And senior project figuring out-ing. Except I really can't do anything until someone calls me about using the cultural hall at church.

Sigh. What a week.
I'm happy though. Things are okay. Looking on the brightside... mom made it out of surgery okay. I ate something today and it stayed down. I got most of the homework I missed. Yeah. Life is okay :)

Hey look at that adorable baby!

Hello there dear readers. Look at the cute baby. Isn't she freakin' adorable? With her little muppet t shirt thats way too big and her 90s style pink leggings. Smellin the "daisies" in her grampa's backyard? Who could that marvelous little specimen be?

Oh yeah... It's MOI!
It's just a really cute picture and I thought I would share it. It's in my grandpa bono's backyard. I always remember his backyard being so pretty and so much fun. Daisies are my favorite flowers now. Not the actual fancy daisies. The weed ones that grow really big. Those are the kinds of daisies in the pot above. They're my favorite.

Anyway, carry on good people.

Help! I'm becoming a mormon domestic!

Haha. Witty title. I win.

Tomorrow I'm going to a Relief Society "Secret Ingredient Recipe Group". I'm really excited. I'm making white cake with my lavender milk frosting. The cake is simple white cake and the frosting is basically dried lavender and milk boiled together so the lavender smell and oil are blended into the milk. Then I strain out the lavender and add powdered sugar. It's quite tasty. I haven't made it in a LONG time.
The point of tomorrow's recipe group is to bring a dish of a recipe with some kind of ingredient that makes people go "What? You put THAT in there?"
I'm pretty jazzed to see what people come up with.
I just hope my cupcakes turn out well. I'm using a recipe for white cake I found on the internet because the only box mix we have is a lemon cake and that would definitely taste awful with lavender frosting.
I don't mean to brag or anything, but I did win 2 awards 2 years in a row in the girl scout bake off. Cake and pie years. For the cake year, I made a super fudge cake. It was so rich and chocolatey that I won most chocolate. I didn't place, but I won an award. That year, my dad and I worked for hours in the kitchen trying to get the chocolate frosting to thicken up. It didn't. We called it mudslide and stuck a halloween straw in it to keep it from sliding any further. It was good, but a mess to make and a mess to clean up. Then Pie year, I made 2 banana cream pies from scratch (including the crust) I won first place that year and I would have moved on to the regional wide girl scout bake off, but I got grounded.
I'm really not bad fan-dang-tastic at baking. I'm okay at cooking, but that's just because I haven't practiced much. I did, however reach quite a milestone in my mormon domestic-ness last year when I made a dinner of orange chicken, broccoli, and rice for my family. (I think I made rice...) I think that post is on here too haha. I made it all without burning it. Then over the summer in 2011, I went to my dear old friend Dena's house quite often and she taught me how to cook french toast, stir fry, and something else I think. She's southern and she makes incredibly grand tasting food. I remember the day we were making stir fry, I was cutting the tomatoes with a non tomato-cutting knife and I cut my finger pretty good.
Oh, and last thursday (about a week ago) I was taking a pizza out of the oven. I had oven mitts on, but my sleeves were rolled up. I didn't take the rack out a little bit, I just reached right on in for that pizza. Anyway, I lifted my right arm up just a little to pick up the pizza and I burnt my arm pretty bad. It's nasty. It's deep and it bleeds quite a bit off and on. It's getting better, but it has only slightly decreased in size. The day after I burnt my arm, a grey blister formed on my poor little appendage. Since then, everyone who notices it either goes "EWWWWWW! GROSS! WHAT HAPPENED???" or "Is that a burn? How did you manage to do that?"
It's been rather entertaining and has been 90% more attention than I want. It's kind of fun to show it off to people to gross them out, but each day after about one or two people, it tends to get old retelling the story and saying "oh, yeah. Oven burn. Was making a pizza." I find that my story is much more in detail around the morning time.
Anyway, I feel guilty. I must be honest. The title is not in fact entirely my own. I saw a girl use it as a title for a picture album on facebook the other day.
Thought it was still pretty witty though.

I wish I could say the same about my blog title haha.

Weird

Today was odd.
Very odd.

I craved taco bell all during 2nd period and lunch because this girl in my human impact class was eating this nasty-but-simultaneously-incredible smelling taco that had a dorito shell. The smell of taco bell made me really want a beefy five layer burrito. Then after school, my mom took us to taco bell for an extremely, extremely 3:45 dinner.
Now that I've done my homework and chores already... I could nap and read Inheritance. I'm so tired I don't even want to play world of warcraft.
GASP!
I know.
Odd.

Even weirder...
okay so I used to be really clingy to this guy I really liked. He and I were best friends and stuff. Went to homecoming and prom and all that jazz. We were in choir together, etcetera.
I used to text him every second I could. I didn't realize how annoying I was being. Until now.
There's this guy I went on one date with. One date I paid for, mind you. It was miserable and awkward and a little creepy. He tried to kiss me like three times. At one point he put his cheek against mine and said "Our cheeks are touching." That was when I realized what he really wanted.
Also when I replied to him in my head "you're not getting what you want from me."
It was odd.
So he texts me all the time now. I've told him I don't want a relationship for a long time. I've found that I'm not really mature about relationships because I usually wind up breaking up with the guy because he kissed me or being ignored one day because I'm way too clingy and weird.
This guy has been texting me nonstop. He's tried everything in the book. From trying to make me jealous by saying he spent the whole day with some girl and he thinks he's in love, but he "can't be with her because she has a boyfriend" to "I'm so lonely. I need a hug."
Sorry dude. I'm going to stick to what I said before.
There will be no second date.
I realize now how annoying it is to get a text at 2 in the morning saying "I'm lonely".
It's super annoying.
Oh, by the way... before this date a couple weeks ago, I hadn't seen this guy in two years. I hadn't talked to him except when I said "Hi" on facebook a week before the date.
Yeah.

The stuff going on in my life lately is just so odd. So many weird random things happening.
Dating is not my thing. At least for a little while. Maybe in a year or two...
Blah.

blahhhhh

Church was pretty good today. Relief Society was relaxed and pretty laid back. It was fast/testimony meeting. I didn't fall asleep until about 1 am though and woke up at 7 to get ready for church. Thank goodness for the new face wash I've been using. It's this really great stuff that wakes you up and cleans really well. It smells good too. I've never really had my face smell good haha.
Tried to take a nap a couple times today, but I'm too tired to fall asleep. If that makes sense.
I might go to the Young Single Adult fireside at the stake center tonight. But, if my friend isn't back in town by then to take me I don't really want to go because I don't know anyone there yet and I'm not exactly a social butterfly.
The sun is out here in Camas and I am so grateful. I think I would honestly be grouchy if the sun was shining so pretty and bright outside.
Painted my nails and toenails my favorite shade of purple. :) It makes me really happy. Love the color. Plus, when I play piano it's not so boring to watch my fingers. I think I actually pay closer attention to the music when I have my nails painted because I look down at them when I play.
Anyway, it's the small things, right?
I need some sleep. I'm so tired. I guess I'll just play some world of warcraft and wait for my friend to text me if he is back in town or not.
Woohoo! Single Adult now.