Mission preparation...

I have been struggling a lot since I got my mission call. Not spiritually really, or even any other way. I guess I've been struggling to prepare the right way. I've been studying Russian quite a bit and I'm starting to be able to read the words in their symbols. I don't know what the words or sentences mean yet, but I am able to read the words as they are pronounced. Vocab will be something I work on next.
Anyway, I am nervous about a few things. As I'm sure every missionary is nervous about before they go to the MTC. First, it will be my first time out on my own for so long. Of course I will have a companion all the time and will be around people almost all day everyday. And I have lived with another family away from my own for 3 months. But I'm going to a country I've never been to for 18 months without my family. I will be able to call them on Christmas and mothers day and I can email them once a week and write to them as often as I want. But I'm a little nervous! Even though sometimes I think to myself "I can't wait to be on my own!" Deep down I'm anxious to be away from my dad and family. It will be my first experience as a grown up in the world by myself.
Another thing is I always get really anxious teaching people anything. I'm always afraid I will miss something or they won't listen to me. Or that I will mess up or say something wrong. I know this church is the true church and I know that the gospel has saved me. It's helped me grow and brought me great happiness. I want everyone to feel the happiness I have felt and to progress as I have in the past two years. But I am so worried that I will mess up somehow. I feel very humble when it comes to teaching.

So here's what caused this blog post to come about...
A few weeks ago, the missionaries invited my home/visiting teacher and I to go teach/visit an investigator with them. We did. I wanted so badly to say something and confirm what the elders were saying. But I was so scared!! Finally one of the Elders asked me how the Plan of Salvation comforts me or gives me hope and so I said a little tidbit but it was quick and I'm sure my voice was shaking. It was nerve wracking!
So tonight, while I was getting ready to go to the gym, I saw the Elders walk up to our door and so I went to open it and they asked me if I could go again and teach the investigator again. But this time... I'M TEACHING THE LESSON. WHAT???? They asked me to teach her about the commandment to follow the prophet.
I am absolutely drawing a blank.
I'm studying Preach my Gospel and praying and listening to spiritual music.... I'm nervous to say the least. I so want to get this right.
I know this will be great experience and it will help me in the longrun. I just need to be confident and emote the fact that I know this work rings true.

I am going to do my very best. I know the Elders will help me and I think I'm going to ask my home/visiting teacher to come with me too. She always knows how to help me understand the gospel and scriptures (she was one of my seminary teachers two years ago.)

Anyway... I'm counting my blessings that I am able to do this. Soon I might also be able to do exchanges with the sister missionaries in Vancouver. Pretty exciting.

My shy nature will do me no good in this work. Time for me to get over my shyness.

check out my new video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIIMW8GcZvg

worked hard. 4 hours of editing, drawing, and thinking.
Enjoy! :)

Called to Serve!

Here it is: the magical announcement that is changing my life...

I got my mission call on Thursday afternoon. I opened it with my dad and siblings in the room.

I have been called to serve in the Samara, Russia mission. Russian speaking. I will leave for the Provo, Utah Mission Training Center on June 19th.

AHHH!!! What is this???? Russia was not even on my radar, not even a thought!

I am very excited and the truth is, I am very nervous too. But for now I am doing everything I can to prepare. Since there are no temples in Russia, I will be getting my temple reccomend this month or next so I can go to the temple as much as possible before I leave.

Song writings, Arts made, mission papers... and a heartbreak or two.

So yeah, my title is super awesome because it has some pretty silly grammar.

Anyway...

I'm writing a song, or rather, composing a song. For piano, with a little bit of vocals. Want to hear my work in progress? Click this link to go to my youtube channel...
http://www.youtube.com/user/songbird1618/videos?flow=grid&view=0

Last time I was on here and posted was January 2nd. For those of you who have read my blog before or know me personally, you know that my mom had stage 4 cancer. On January 7th, 2013, my mom lost her battle with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer that had spread throughout her body. It has been hard. But I have been handling it with grace and trying to do things to heal my heart. I feel like in the short space of a month since her passing, I have grown a lot and I have seen tremendous changes in myself and my life.
Obviously, life is hard without a mom. I will go ahead and admit that right now. Don't get me wrong, my dad is doing a spectacular job and he has been very inspirational to me. I know this has been hard on him. The thing is, there is a very empty hole in my life now. I am very lucky to have a lot of mother figures who I admire and who truly care about me... but even though they are so strong in my life, nothing can obviously replace my mom. I haven't actually gone to grief counseling but I honestly don't need it. I have been counseling with my bishop and I have been very open with my close friends and grown ups in my church and all of my fears and concerns have been comforted. In my opinion, that has been better than any counselor I have ever gone to.
Also, my missionary boyfriend and I ended it. I actually was really not all that upset about it after the first day. I have more important things in life than crying over a guy who wrote me a cruel email to breakup with me.

Now that I broke the bad news, here are the good things that have happened since I last posted...
-I successfully turned in my papers for a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints. I turned them in last tuesday night, so I should get my call next week sometime. If not, then definitely the week after.
-I got a new calling as the ward chorister. I lead the congregational hymns in sacrament meeting every sunday. It's surprisingly harder than I thought, but it's so fun and I really get to feel the spirit. I absolutely love it. And I'm still the Young Single Adult leader.
-I got a promotion of sorts at work. I moved from the MET (support team) to the floor. I will get more hours working on the floor and it's really a lot of fun. I enjoy the times I have gotten to go out on the floor so far. Plus, now I have register training and I can interact with customers more often.
-I went to a YSA dance the other night and had so much fun. I danced with two very sweet guys. I'm now friends with both on facebook and tomorrow night after work I am going on a date with one of them. I'm very excited to go. I haven't been on a date since August when I went with my previous boyfriend. The guy and I talked on the phone last night for 2 1/2 hours straight. He asked me to dance at the YSA dance at the last slow dance and then asked for my number. He's so nice and funny and spiritual. I think so far he is a great mix of them.

So yeah :) I also did a few art pieces in the past month. Here they are:

The top one looks better in real life, but I'm very proud of it. The bottom one was my first acrylic landscape.

I'm very excited about my future and very excited especially for tomorrow and next week. I'll do my best to post more often, but I will be working a lot and doing a lot of piano practicing.

Thanks faithful readers :) It makes me happy to see that lots of people actually read my blog.
Cheers,
Ash

New projects and things accomplished

So my animated short didn't happen. I have zero software for animation and it's almost impossible to do all by hand alone.
But I've got a new more attainable goal/project. I'm making my own CD to make money for my mission. I got a job about a month ago at JCPenney, but I'm only part time and now that christmas is over, I'll be  getting less hours therefore, less money.
I have already started by creating a CD cover and the title and one of the songs has already been chosen. Woot :)
Here's the picture I drew last night, it's going to be the picture on my first CD cover. I worked really hard on it.