I have been struggling a lot since I got my mission call. Not spiritually really, or even any other way. I guess I've been struggling to prepare the right way. I've been studying Russian quite a bit and I'm starting to be able to read the words in their symbols. I don't know what the words or sentences mean yet, but I am able to read the words as they are pronounced. Vocab will be something I work on next.
Anyway, I am nervous about a few things. As I'm sure every missionary is nervous about before they go to the MTC. First, it will be my first time out on my own for so long. Of course I will have a companion all the time and will be around people almost all day everyday. And I have lived with another family away from my own for 3 months. But I'm going to a country I've never been to for 18 months without my family. I will be able to call them on Christmas and mothers day and I can email them once a week and write to them as often as I want. But I'm a little nervous! Even though sometimes I think to myself "I can't wait to be on my own!" Deep down I'm anxious to be away from my dad and family. It will be my first experience as a grown up in the world by myself.
Another thing is I always get really anxious teaching people anything. I'm always afraid I will miss something or they won't listen to me. Or that I will mess up or say something wrong. I know this church is the true church and I know that the gospel has saved me. It's helped me grow and brought me great happiness. I want everyone to feel the happiness I have felt and to progress as I have in the past two years. But I am so worried that I will mess up somehow. I feel very humble when it comes to teaching.
So here's what caused this blog post to come about...
A few weeks ago, the missionaries invited my home/visiting teacher and I to go teach/visit an investigator with them. We did. I wanted so badly to say something and confirm what the elders were saying. But I was so scared!! Finally one of the Elders asked me how the Plan of Salvation comforts me or gives me hope and so I said a little tidbit but it was quick and I'm sure my voice was shaking. It was nerve wracking!
So tonight, while I was getting ready to go to the gym, I saw the Elders walk up to our door and so I went to open it and they asked me if I could go again and teach the investigator again. But this time... I'M TEACHING THE LESSON. WHAT???? They asked me to teach her about the commandment to follow the prophet.
I am absolutely drawing a blank.
I'm studying Preach my Gospel and praying and listening to spiritual music.... I'm nervous to say the least. I so want to get this right.
I know this will be great experience and it will help me in the longrun. I just need to be confident and emote the fact that I know this work rings true.
I am going to do my very best. I know the Elders will help me and I think I'm going to ask my home/visiting teacher to come with me too. She always knows how to help me understand the gospel and scriptures (she was one of my seminary teachers two years ago.)
Anyway... I'm counting my blessings that I am able to do this. Soon I might also be able to do exchanges with the sister missionaries in Vancouver. Pretty exciting.
My shy nature will do me no good in this work. Time for me to get over my shyness.
Mar 22, 2013
Mar 6, 2013
check out my new video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIIMW8GcZvg
worked hard. 4 hours of editing, drawing, and thinking.
Enjoy! :)
worked hard. 4 hours of editing, drawing, and thinking.
Enjoy! :)
Mar 3, 2013
Called to Serve!
Here it is: the magical announcement that is changing my life...
I got my mission call on Thursday afternoon. I opened it with my dad and siblings in the room.
I have been called to serve in the Samara, Russia mission. Russian speaking. I will leave for the Provo, Utah Mission Training Center on June 19th.
AHHH!!! What is this???? Russia was not even on my radar, not even a thought!
I am very excited and the truth is, I am very nervous too. But for now I am doing everything I can to prepare. Since there are no temples in Russia, I will be getting my temple reccomend this month or next so I can go to the temple as much as possible before I leave.
I got my mission call on Thursday afternoon. I opened it with my dad and siblings in the room.
I have been called to serve in the Samara, Russia mission. Russian speaking. I will leave for the Provo, Utah Mission Training Center on June 19th.
AHHH!!! What is this???? Russia was not even on my radar, not even a thought!
I am very excited and the truth is, I am very nervous too. But for now I am doing everything I can to prepare. Since there are no temples in Russia, I will be getting my temple reccomend this month or next so I can go to the temple as much as possible before I leave.
Feb 18, 2013
Song writings, Arts made, mission papers... and a heartbreak or two.
So yeah, my title is super awesome because it has some pretty silly grammar.
Anyway...
I'm writing a song, or rather, composing a song. For piano, with a little bit of vocals. Want to hear my work in progress? Click this link to go to my youtube channel...
http://www.youtube.com/user/songbird1618/videos?flow=grid&view=0
Last time I was on here and posted was January 2nd. For those of you who have read my blog before or know me personally, you know that my mom had stage 4 cancer. On January 7th, 2013, my mom lost her battle with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer that had spread throughout her body. It has been hard. But I have been handling it with grace and trying to do things to heal my heart. I feel like in the short space of a month since her passing, I have grown a lot and I have seen tremendous changes in myself and my life.
Obviously, life is hard without a mom. I will go ahead and admit that right now. Don't get me wrong, my dad is doing a spectacular job and he has been very inspirational to me. I know this has been hard on him. The thing is, there is a very empty hole in my life now. I am very lucky to have a lot of mother figures who I admire and who truly care about me... but even though they are so strong in my life, nothing can obviously replace my mom. I haven't actually gone to grief counseling but I honestly don't need it. I have been counseling with my bishop and I have been very open with my close friends and grown ups in my church and all of my fears and concerns have been comforted. In my opinion, that has been better than any counselor I have ever gone to.
Also, my missionary boyfriend and I ended it. I actually was really not all that upset about it after the first day. I have more important things in life than crying over a guy who wrote me a cruel email to breakup with me.
Now that I broke the bad news, here are the good things that have happened since I last posted...
-I successfully turned in my papers for a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints. I turned them in last tuesday night, so I should get my call next week sometime. If not, then definitely the week after.
-I got a new calling as the ward chorister. I lead the congregational hymns in sacrament meeting every sunday. It's surprisingly harder than I thought, but it's so fun and I really get to feel the spirit. I absolutely love it. And I'm still the Young Single Adult leader.
-I got a promotion of sorts at work. I moved from the MET (support team) to the floor. I will get more hours working on the floor and it's really a lot of fun. I enjoy the times I have gotten to go out on the floor so far. Plus, now I have register training and I can interact with customers more often.
-I went to a YSA dance the other night and had so much fun. I danced with two very sweet guys. I'm now friends with both on facebook and tomorrow night after work I am going on a date with one of them. I'm very excited to go. I haven't been on a date since August when I went with my previous boyfriend. The guy and I talked on the phone last night for 2 1/2 hours straight. He asked me to dance at the YSA dance at the last slow dance and then asked for my number. He's so nice and funny and spiritual. I think so far he is a great mix of them.
So yeah :) I also did a few art pieces in the past month. Here they are:
The top one looks better in real life, but I'm very proud of it. The bottom one was my first acrylic landscape.
I'm very excited about my future and very excited especially for tomorrow and next week. I'll do my best to post more often, but I will be working a lot and doing a lot of piano practicing.
Thanks faithful readers :) It makes me happy to see that lots of people actually read my blog.
Cheers,
Ash
Anyway...
I'm writing a song, or rather, composing a song. For piano, with a little bit of vocals. Want to hear my work in progress? Click this link to go to my youtube channel...
http://www.youtube.com/user/songbird1618/videos?flow=grid&view=0
Last time I was on here and posted was January 2nd. For those of you who have read my blog before or know me personally, you know that my mom had stage 4 cancer. On January 7th, 2013, my mom lost her battle with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer that had spread throughout her body. It has been hard. But I have been handling it with grace and trying to do things to heal my heart. I feel like in the short space of a month since her passing, I have grown a lot and I have seen tremendous changes in myself and my life.
Obviously, life is hard without a mom. I will go ahead and admit that right now. Don't get me wrong, my dad is doing a spectacular job and he has been very inspirational to me. I know this has been hard on him. The thing is, there is a very empty hole in my life now. I am very lucky to have a lot of mother figures who I admire and who truly care about me... but even though they are so strong in my life, nothing can obviously replace my mom. I haven't actually gone to grief counseling but I honestly don't need it. I have been counseling with my bishop and I have been very open with my close friends and grown ups in my church and all of my fears and concerns have been comforted. In my opinion, that has been better than any counselor I have ever gone to.
Also, my missionary boyfriend and I ended it. I actually was really not all that upset about it after the first day. I have more important things in life than crying over a guy who wrote me a cruel email to breakup with me.
Now that I broke the bad news, here are the good things that have happened since I last posted...
-I successfully turned in my papers for a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints. I turned them in last tuesday night, so I should get my call next week sometime. If not, then definitely the week after.
-I got a new calling as the ward chorister. I lead the congregational hymns in sacrament meeting every sunday. It's surprisingly harder than I thought, but it's so fun and I really get to feel the spirit. I absolutely love it. And I'm still the Young Single Adult leader.
-I got a promotion of sorts at work. I moved from the MET (support team) to the floor. I will get more hours working on the floor and it's really a lot of fun. I enjoy the times I have gotten to go out on the floor so far. Plus, now I have register training and I can interact with customers more often.
-I went to a YSA dance the other night and had so much fun. I danced with two very sweet guys. I'm now friends with both on facebook and tomorrow night after work I am going on a date with one of them. I'm very excited to go. I haven't been on a date since August when I went with my previous boyfriend. The guy and I talked on the phone last night for 2 1/2 hours straight. He asked me to dance at the YSA dance at the last slow dance and then asked for my number. He's so nice and funny and spiritual. I think so far he is a great mix of them.
So yeah :) I also did a few art pieces in the past month. Here they are:
The top one looks better in real life, but I'm very proud of it. The bottom one was my first acrylic landscape.
I'm very excited about my future and very excited especially for tomorrow and next week. I'll do my best to post more often, but I will be working a lot and doing a lot of piano practicing.
Thanks faithful readers :) It makes me happy to see that lots of people actually read my blog.
Cheers,
Ash
Jan 2, 2013
New projects and things accomplished
So my animated short didn't happen. I have zero software for animation and it's almost impossible to do all by hand alone.
But I've got a new more attainable goal/project. I'm making my own CD to make money for my mission. I got a job about a month ago at JCPenney, but I'm only part time and now that christmas is over, I'll be getting less hours therefore, less money.
I have already started by creating a CD cover and the title and one of the songs has already been chosen. Woot :)
Here's the picture I drew last night, it's going to be the picture on my first CD cover. I worked really hard on it.
But I've got a new more attainable goal/project. I'm making my own CD to make money for my mission. I got a job about a month ago at JCPenney, but I'm only part time and now that christmas is over, I'll be getting less hours therefore, less money.
I have already started by creating a CD cover and the title and one of the songs has already been chosen. Woot :)
Here's the picture I drew last night, it's going to be the picture on my first CD cover. I worked really hard on it.
Nov 14, 2012
Long time, no see!
So lots has been going on since last I posted...
In October, the Prophet, Thomas S. Monson made the announcement that young women can go on a mission at the age of 19. I decided then and there to go on a mission.
My mom's cancer has spread to her spine.
Boyfriend is still doing well in Canada.
Finished Honor Bee, but haven't gotten it yet.
Got my wisdom teeth pulled and a root canal done on my front tooth all within 3 days.
My friend Taylor got baptized.
I got a calling as the ward Young Single Adult leader.
Friends left on missions, friends got called on missions.
My friend's fiance dumped her.
I had a job interview today at Buckle, and have another one tomorrow at JCPenney.
Started Stake choir again for christmas.
Went to the Time out for Women conference, met Jenny Oaks Baker and got a picture with her.
Turned 19 years old.
Dressed as Miss Piggy for Halloween to hand out candy.
Voted for Romney. Watched him lose.
Got lots of letters. From Joel, my friend Kyle, and one or two from my brother (best friend), Brett.
Recorded a couple things on piano and uploaded to youtube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bi1g-t2ocfI http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYeh5wkgqik&feature=channel&list=UL)
Here's some art I did:
So yeah. That's all I can really think of right now. But it's a lot eh? I'm not exaggerating any of it either. In fact, I'm probably missing a lot of stuff. It's been a busy busy couple of months.
Right now to keep me busy while the job search trudges onward, I'm doing an animated short film. I'm calling it "Play on". I'll post it when it's done. But you can check me out on facebook to see how it is going. I'll post little sneak previews three times before it's done.
Here's the link, like me on facebook if you haven't already.
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Robyn-Bonazelli/276043645788495
So there you have it. I don't know when I'll post next. Love my missionary boyfriend and miss him lots.
In October, the Prophet, Thomas S. Monson made the announcement that young women can go on a mission at the age of 19. I decided then and there to go on a mission.
My mom's cancer has spread to her spine.
Boyfriend is still doing well in Canada.
Finished Honor Bee, but haven't gotten it yet.
Got my wisdom teeth pulled and a root canal done on my front tooth all within 3 days.
My friend Taylor got baptized.
I got a calling as the ward Young Single Adult leader.
Friends left on missions, friends got called on missions.
My friend's fiance dumped her.
I had a job interview today at Buckle, and have another one tomorrow at JCPenney.
Started Stake choir again for christmas.
Went to the Time out for Women conference, met Jenny Oaks Baker and got a picture with her.
Turned 19 years old.
Dressed as Miss Piggy for Halloween to hand out candy.
Voted for Romney. Watched him lose.
Got lots of letters. From Joel, my friend Kyle, and one or two from my brother (best friend), Brett.
Recorded a couple things on piano and uploaded to youtube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bi1g-t2ocfI http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYeh5wkgqik&feature=channel&list=UL)
Here's some art I did:
So yeah. That's all I can really think of right now. But it's a lot eh? I'm not exaggerating any of it either. In fact, I'm probably missing a lot of stuff. It's been a busy busy couple of months.
Right now to keep me busy while the job search trudges onward, I'm doing an animated short film. I'm calling it "Play on". I'll post it when it's done. But you can check me out on facebook to see how it is going. I'll post little sneak previews three times before it's done.
Here's the link, like me on facebook if you haven't already.
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Robyn-Bonazelli/276043645788495
So there you have it. I don't know when I'll post next. Love my missionary boyfriend and miss him lots.
Sep 18, 2012
Sep 17, 2012
Mutual Weirdness
“We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”
-Dr. Seuss
-Dr. Seuss
He's such a goofball. I love him so much :)
"Look ma! Imma bee!!!!!"
Yeah, not really sure why he's standing under a giant bee :)
Sep 14, 2012
The top picture is two days after my graduation from high school when she and I were outside going to get the mail. She loved being outside and nearly everyday in rain or shine, she and I would go together.
The bottom picture is just on september 7th when we got new couches. She had a hard time getting on and growled and almost bit me when I tried to help her up. This was less than 12 hours before her first seizure.
We still love her and it's really weird not having a dog to happily greet us and wag her tail ferociously everytime we came home. She made friends with all of the people who came to the door and loved her friend (our kitty), Cheese.
She'll be missed.
Jenna Louise Bonazelli July 1998 (ish) - September 11th, 2012
Sep 5, 2012
The piano guys
Honor Bee
I recently made the decision to do my honor bee for Personal Progress. If you don't know what that is, it's basically an extension of personal progress. I recieved an award that in my church is the equivalent to the Eagle Scout award in boy scouts. I recieved it in december 2011. With the honor bee, you do 40 hours of service and read the Book of Mormon again. Then when you finish I think you have an interview with your bishop. Then in sacrament meeting, you recieve a bee charm to put on your medallion necklace to show that you have finished personal progress and that you've completed your honor bee.
So far I have 1 hour of service helping another ward do baptisms for the dead and I'm in 2 Nephi in the Book of Mormon. I'll post a counter to show how far along in the Book of Mormon I am and how far I am with the service portion too.
My missionary hit his 3 week mark and left the provo MTC yesterday early in the morning to go to his actual mission in Edmonton, Canada. He made it there safely and I can't wait to get his next letter. I've already gotten 5 and it's only been 21 days :) I'm a spoiled girlfriend.
I recently got a car and am learning to drive more and more and I'm striving for a job now. Life is hectic, but I'm definitely getting a lot done too.
Well, that's all for now. I hope you'll follow my progress in the honor bee!
So far I have 1 hour of service helping another ward do baptisms for the dead and I'm in 2 Nephi in the Book of Mormon. I'll post a counter to show how far along in the Book of Mormon I am and how far I am with the service portion too.
My missionary hit his 3 week mark and left the provo MTC yesterday early in the morning to go to his actual mission in Edmonton, Canada. He made it there safely and I can't wait to get his next letter. I've already gotten 5 and it's only been 21 days :) I'm a spoiled girlfriend.
I recently got a car and am learning to drive more and more and I'm striving for a job now. Life is hectic, but I'm definitely getting a lot done too.
Well, that's all for now. I hope you'll follow my progress in the honor bee!
Aug 17, 2012
It's been a while
So... a lot has happened since my last blog post.
The main thing is that I started dating someone and we're in a rather serious relationship. Although, this past wednesday, he left for his 2 year mission to canada. I'm going to wait for him.
I'm very much in love and he's very much a sweet person. He's the first boyfriend who has treated me so well.
Look at these pics and see for yourself. He's a cutie :) I miss him already, but I know these two years will bring us closer together in the end.
The main thing is that I started dating someone and we're in a rather serious relationship. Although, this past wednesday, he left for his 2 year mission to canada. I'm going to wait for him.
I'm very much in love and he's very much a sweet person. He's the first boyfriend who has treated me so well.
Look at these pics and see for yourself. He's a cutie :) I miss him already, but I know these two years will bring us closer together in the end.
My goofball and I :) Love him lots. We were laughing this whole picture because the photographer lady had us do this pose where we were laying on the floor, well the room was small and I had to hold up my legs and my dress kept falling. It was really funny. Loved that day.
One of my favorites. Look at those blue eyes. :)
My dear sweet missionary.
My favorite of the both of us. I love his smile so much. <3
Jul 2, 2012
Oh my heck.
I am kind of worried about how the heck I'm going to pay for college. I've finally decided on what I want to do, but I need the money to pay for it. I only have enough for books for my two anthropology classes. Those two anthropology classes are about 1,000$ on their own. It's going to be quite a bit of work figuring that out. I've found myself to be eerily calm about it though.
I'm working on a solution.
I've been working on getting prints of my art and contacting local shops in my town to see about selling them there.
I have just gotten information about a good art print shop in portland, now all I need to do is start by getting some paintings done and getting some prints going so I can start selling them.
Blah. Being an adult is hard.
I am kind of worried about how the heck I'm going to pay for college. I've finally decided on what I want to do, but I need the money to pay for it. I only have enough for books for my two anthropology classes. Those two anthropology classes are about 1,000$ on their own. It's going to be quite a bit of work figuring that out. I've found myself to be eerily calm about it though.
I'm working on a solution.
I've been working on getting prints of my art and contacting local shops in my town to see about selling them there.
I have just gotten information about a good art print shop in portland, now all I need to do is start by getting some paintings done and getting some prints going so I can start selling them.
Blah. Being an adult is hard.
Jun 21, 2012
Gar! Gasp! GAH!
Okay so time for some teenage vent time...
So the guy I used to like and still kinda do told me to stop talking to him, and I have but I miss him and still like him.
I just found out he met some girl at BYU or something.
I know I should move on so I'm going to and here's how:
I just bought a snazzy new dress that makes me look really pretty. New earrings too and this sunday I'm going to the actual single person ward and maybe I'll meet some new cute guy and fall totally in love or something.
Or maybe I'll meet someone and just be awkward like I always am.
Either way... I hope that this sunday makes my feelings for this past crush go away.
Because I've liked him for almost 5 years.
That is all.
And stuff.
So the guy I used to like and still kinda do told me to stop talking to him, and I have but I miss him and still like him.
I just found out he met some girl at BYU or something.
I know I should move on so I'm going to and here's how:
I just bought a snazzy new dress that makes me look really pretty. New earrings too and this sunday I'm going to the actual single person ward and maybe I'll meet some new cute guy and fall totally in love or something.
Or maybe I'll meet someone and just be awkward like I always am.
Either way... I hope that this sunday makes my feelings for this past crush go away.
Because I've liked him for almost 5 years.
That is all.
And stuff.
Jun 19, 2012
Yay! No more high school... now college...
I graduated high school this past saturday and now I have no more High School. Yay!
Now I'm just trying to get ready for college. I'm going to take some independent study courses for BYU and maybe a class or two at Clark College. I was looking through the Independent study course I want to take first (Anthropology 101) and here's what I learned:
I get 3.0 credits for taking that class independently.
The class costs $471.
That doesn't include books.
The class total will cost 532.95.
So, now that High School stress has gone away... a new kind of stress has opened its doors to me for the first time and I find myself wishing that college was free. Or at least cheaper.
Needless to say, I'm scrounging up all my graduation money, change from my jewelery box, and my resume. I'm applying for tons of jobs and seeking them as much as I can.
I need a job. I need money for college.
I've decided that even though the BYU independent study Anthropology 101 course is expensive, it will be worth it because that is one of the classes I need in my anthropology major.
I'm willing to spend that money, but right now the only problem is getting that money. And soon.
One day as a free adult and I'm already wishing I was still in High School. Money.
Why, money, why?
May 12, 2012
Leaps and bounds.
It's really quite a blessing to have seen this friend grow up. I've known him since eighth grade. Back then we were in web design together. He had braces and glasses, chunky cheeks and a sunny and somewhat awkward pubescent disposition. He was a great friend in eighth grade. Eighth grade was 6 years ago. I've known and been friends with him longer than any person on earth.
I've gotten to see him grow up and become an incredible young man. Even crushed on him in eighth grade pretty hard. But he doesn't know that. When High School rolled around, and I saw him again, his braces were gone and so were the glasses. His fat had turned to muscle and he was (i'm not gonna lie) really attractive. I crushed even harder. But then I saw that girls were so drawn to him because of the looks and I got disheartened. Then I started dating guys who were bad for my self esteem and who were really immature. I didn't really even like most of them. I've realized I've been trying to compensate for my thought that it would never work out between this friend and I.
Now that I've come to the realization that I really have liked him all these years, it really doesn't matter. He's leaving on his mission in a couple months for two years.
I wish life could be easier you know? I wish I could meet a guy who is good for me, good for my self esteem and who I am good for. I wish I could gain the courage to do something about it.
Anyway, it doesn't matter. Sometimes it just feels good to vent.
He's grown up so much, but I really feel like I haven't grown at all since eighth grade. Sometimes I think the only thing besides my height that has changed is my bra size and the length/color of my hair.
I'm tired and very nostalgic. I'm just going to go upstairs and sleep deeply and pray that life will get better. It hasn't been to kind to me lately.
I'm tired.
I've gotten to see him grow up and become an incredible young man. Even crushed on him in eighth grade pretty hard. But he doesn't know that. When High School rolled around, and I saw him again, his braces were gone and so were the glasses. His fat had turned to muscle and he was (i'm not gonna lie) really attractive. I crushed even harder. But then I saw that girls were so drawn to him because of the looks and I got disheartened. Then I started dating guys who were bad for my self esteem and who were really immature. I didn't really even like most of them. I've realized I've been trying to compensate for my thought that it would never work out between this friend and I.
Now that I've come to the realization that I really have liked him all these years, it really doesn't matter. He's leaving on his mission in a couple months for two years.
I wish life could be easier you know? I wish I could meet a guy who is good for me, good for my self esteem and who I am good for. I wish I could gain the courage to do something about it.
Anyway, it doesn't matter. Sometimes it just feels good to vent.
He's grown up so much, but I really feel like I haven't grown at all since eighth grade. Sometimes I think the only thing besides my height that has changed is my bra size and the length/color of my hair.
I'm tired and very nostalgic. I'm just going to go upstairs and sleep deeply and pray that life will get better. It hasn't been to kind to me lately.
I'm tired.
Adventures in becoming a Mormon Domestic, Part II
Tonight I'm going to a party at a really good friend's house. It's going to be lots of fun, it's like an open house for him I think but with hot tub, food, and probably lots of fun stuff.
So, I'm making some cupcakes for them. But not just any cupcakes. Of course the actual cake part is from a box, but the frosting is vanilla buttercream. Here's the awesome part:
It's completely home made.
That's right people. I made buttercream frosting from scratch and it turned out tasting how it's supposed to. Maybe even a little better because I added a few things here and there.
I'm going to wait a few minutes to make the actual cupcakes so that I can wash the kitchen aid and stuff.
I'm becoming a good little mormon domestic. I can cook without burning stuff and I'm slowly getting toward the point where I can bake and not totally fail. However, I am using a box mix for specifically that reason- I have not yet perfected the art of home made cake. My white cake always turns out really crumbly and odd tasting when I make it from scratch. :/ I don't want to take any risks with the lemon cake. Especially after all the work to make my frosting so fantastically incredible. :D
I think I'll take a break first though and go outside and lay in the sunshine. It is such a pretty day out!
So, I'm making some cupcakes for them. But not just any cupcakes. Of course the actual cake part is from a box, but the frosting is vanilla buttercream. Here's the awesome part:
It's completely home made.
That's right people. I made buttercream frosting from scratch and it turned out tasting how it's supposed to. Maybe even a little better because I added a few things here and there.
I'm going to wait a few minutes to make the actual cupcakes so that I can wash the kitchen aid and stuff.
I'm becoming a good little mormon domestic. I can cook without burning stuff and I'm slowly getting toward the point where I can bake and not totally fail. However, I am using a box mix for specifically that reason- I have not yet perfected the art of home made cake. My white cake always turns out really crumbly and odd tasting when I make it from scratch. :/ I don't want to take any risks with the lemon cake. Especially after all the work to make my frosting so fantastically incredible. :D
I think I'll take a break first though and go outside and lay in the sunshine. It is such a pretty day out!
May 9, 2012
Music.
Music.
Sigh. Need I say more?
Well, I will anyway.
Music is always there when I need it to be. I can be crying and saying how much I hate music and how bad I am at it. How I should never do it again in my life. I should never touch another instrument.
But then once I say it out loud, all I want to do is play Homeward Bound or some really pretty Jon Schmidt song to make myself feel better.
Music has loved me always in an unrequited way. Every breakup or heartbreak has been soothed with music. Either by listening to it or playing it.
Truly, I know what I want to do for the rest of my life. Everything musical and having to do with language. Music is a part of being able to communicate with everyone. I think that is what makes it so soothing to me, you know? I am bad with communication in real life. Verbal communication isn't my strong suit. I can be extremely awkward and sometimes immature. I have gossipped before. I've said bad words. I've said things to hurt others.
But none of the music I've ever played or sang has ever done any of that. I've never communicated badly or negatively with music.
When I'm having a bad day or feeling like a bad person, I can re-evaluate my approach to communication by playing something on piano or singing in the shower. Really, truly, I believe singing in the shower is probably one of the best forms of therapy I've ever known. I've been to therapists, been in a group for depression, I've also done art therapy by trying to draw something. None of it did much for me. In fact, I think it made me angrier even. Like those therapists were trying too hard. Like the drawings and paintings were forced. You know?
Music is rad.
Sometimes I just need to post fluff like this. I am just so incredibly passionate (fluffy?) about music. That and speaking languages. I know some Japanese, lots of Spanish, and American Sign Language. Plus, I've always been an avid reader and writer.
I've been a college reading level since fifth grade. I love to read and speak languages and music.
Dang.
Music is just....
rad.
Sigh. Need I say more?
Well, I will anyway.
Music is always there when I need it to be. I can be crying and saying how much I hate music and how bad I am at it. How I should never do it again in my life. I should never touch another instrument.
But then once I say it out loud, all I want to do is play Homeward Bound or some really pretty Jon Schmidt song to make myself feel better.
Music has loved me always in an unrequited way. Every breakup or heartbreak has been soothed with music. Either by listening to it or playing it.
Truly, I know what I want to do for the rest of my life. Everything musical and having to do with language. Music is a part of being able to communicate with everyone. I think that is what makes it so soothing to me, you know? I am bad with communication in real life. Verbal communication isn't my strong suit. I can be extremely awkward and sometimes immature. I have gossipped before. I've said bad words. I've said things to hurt others.
But none of the music I've ever played or sang has ever done any of that. I've never communicated badly or negatively with music.
When I'm having a bad day or feeling like a bad person, I can re-evaluate my approach to communication by playing something on piano or singing in the shower. Really, truly, I believe singing in the shower is probably one of the best forms of therapy I've ever known. I've been to therapists, been in a group for depression, I've also done art therapy by trying to draw something. None of it did much for me. In fact, I think it made me angrier even. Like those therapists were trying too hard. Like the drawings and paintings were forced. You know?
Music is rad.
Sometimes I just need to post fluff like this. I am just so incredibly passionate (fluffy?) about music. That and speaking languages. I know some Japanese, lots of Spanish, and American Sign Language. Plus, I've always been an avid reader and writer.
I've been a college reading level since fifth grade. I love to read and speak languages and music.
Dang.
Music is just....
rad.
May 2, 2012
Uke-can do this! :D
Ha. Puns.
Hello there.
It's been a while since I entered something on my blog. Oops.
I should tell you that I have plenty of time to do so now that I have passed my senior board project. I have quite literally nothing else to do for the rest of the school year except laze about as a sophomore english TA and sing in choir in the morning. All that's left for me to pass is a CWI class, and I'm already ahead of the entire class so I really don't have to do much :D
However, there is this piano song I'm learning so that I have the opportunity to accompany it in choir.
And it's kicking my butt.
Bigtime.
Seriously. I had to stop and google how to play a C flat on the piano (FYI: flats are usually played on the black keys, but a C flat, is in fact just another name for B natural.)
I'm having so much trouble.
So I'm going to go practice my tush off because I'm really behind and struggling with that.
D:
Plus I have a huge bump on my head. Last night, I hit my head really hard when I was picking up a prop or something for this little play my church is doing. Anyway, I was picking it up and as I was rising, I hit my head on this little wood paneling type thing that kind of juts out of the wall.
It didn't start really hurting until today this afternoon.
Anyway, I shall see thee again someday.
Till then, I'm going to go explode in a fiery inferno and probably sleep instead of actually practicing piano.
Hey. All good musicians need naps, right?
PS: I met this awesome hip hop ukelele player and he was totally awesome. I exploded from the sheer ingenious of his voice and his uke.
PPS: I want to learn ukelele :3
Peace out.
Hello there.
It's been a while since I entered something on my blog. Oops.
I should tell you that I have plenty of time to do so now that I have passed my senior board project. I have quite literally nothing else to do for the rest of the school year except laze about as a sophomore english TA and sing in choir in the morning. All that's left for me to pass is a CWI class, and I'm already ahead of the entire class so I really don't have to do much :D
However, there is this piano song I'm learning so that I have the opportunity to accompany it in choir.
And it's kicking my butt.
Bigtime.
Seriously. I had to stop and google how to play a C flat on the piano (FYI: flats are usually played on the black keys, but a C flat, is in fact just another name for B natural.)
I'm having so much trouble.
So I'm going to go practice my tush off because I'm really behind and struggling with that.
D:
Plus I have a huge bump on my head. Last night, I hit my head really hard when I was picking up a prop or something for this little play my church is doing. Anyway, I was picking it up and as I was rising, I hit my head on this little wood paneling type thing that kind of juts out of the wall.
It didn't start really hurting until today this afternoon.
Anyway, I shall see thee again someday.
Till then, I'm going to go explode in a fiery inferno and probably sleep instead of actually practicing piano.
Hey. All good musicians need naps, right?
PS: I met this awesome hip hop ukelele player and he was totally awesome. I exploded from the sheer ingenious of his voice and his uke.
PPS: I want to learn ukelele :3
Peace out.
Apr 17, 2012
senior board tomorrow
And so the day is nigh upon me. All the weeks and months of preparation have led to this.
No, it is not the second coming (yet) haha. It's the day of my senior boards.
GASP! *Oh the humanity!*
Anyway, all comedic-relief aside, I'm kind of nervous about tomorrow. From what I have practiced and worked hard on, I feel like I will do well. However there's always a realm of possibility in my mind. In terms of a project as big as this, this realm of possibility almost always includes a sense of impending doom.
I am however, prepared for the whole "whatever can go wrong will go wrong" scenario. I got my time slot assignment and the room in which I will be giving my presentation to the board.
Doomsday will be held in my CWI teacher's classroom. When I asked my advocacy teacher (previously, my english 12 teacher)- she said that the classroom where I'll be in has been having some trouble with it's audio.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is where I began to lose it. I was eerily calm for the first half of the day. When my teacher broke the news to me, I calmly and gracefully proceeded to scribble down my plan on a couple of notecards.
When I got home, I put the MP3 on my kindle fire. This way, if the audio isn't working in the classroom, I can calmly refer to it and play my 21 second audio clip for the panel. (My project included writing a piano song, which I recorded and will play for the panel. In other words, it is a pretty integral piece to my presentation.)
NOW- should anything else go wrong (ie- my powerpoint has magically disappeared from my files on the school computer) I have 2 jump drives. Both equipped with my slideshow and a copy of the MP3 for my song. Both also have all of my important senior english documents on them and scanned copies of things that got signed by important people. Ie- my mentor and the principal who approved my project. This way, if they lose my binder or it mysteriously reaches MIA status, I will be prepared.
There is no way on this Earth I am not going to pass tomorrow.
So why am I so nervous?
I hate speaking in front of people in a formal setting.
I did poetry out loud this year and got second place in my school, but I did it trembling and breathing nervously all the while. I must say that I have improved since the beginning of the year, but that's not saying much. Truly.
Anyway, I'm going to jump for joy and possibly cry when I pass my board tomorrow.
Maybe I'll go play world of warcraft for a couple hours to de-stress.
Yeah.
That sounds good.
If I survive the endeavors of tomorrow, I'll post my score. If not, I'll probably go up to my room after school face in pillow for hours.
Enjoy April 19th fellow humans.
No, it is not the second coming (yet) haha. It's the day of my senior boards.
GASP! *Oh the humanity!*
Anyway, all comedic-relief aside, I'm kind of nervous about tomorrow. From what I have practiced and worked hard on, I feel like I will do well. However there's always a realm of possibility in my mind. In terms of a project as big as this, this realm of possibility almost always includes a sense of impending doom.
I am however, prepared for the whole "whatever can go wrong will go wrong" scenario. I got my time slot assignment and the room in which I will be giving my presentation to the board.
Doomsday will be held in my CWI teacher's classroom. When I asked my advocacy teacher (previously, my english 12 teacher)- she said that the classroom where I'll be in has been having some trouble with it's audio.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is where I began to lose it. I was eerily calm for the first half of the day. When my teacher broke the news to me, I calmly and gracefully proceeded to scribble down my plan on a couple of notecards.
When I got home, I put the MP3 on my kindle fire. This way, if the audio isn't working in the classroom, I can calmly refer to it and play my 21 second audio clip for the panel. (My project included writing a piano song, which I recorded and will play for the panel. In other words, it is a pretty integral piece to my presentation.)
NOW- should anything else go wrong (ie- my powerpoint has magically disappeared from my files on the school computer) I have 2 jump drives. Both equipped with my slideshow and a copy of the MP3 for my song. Both also have all of my important senior english documents on them and scanned copies of things that got signed by important people. Ie- my mentor and the principal who approved my project. This way, if they lose my binder or it mysteriously reaches MIA status, I will be prepared.
There is no way on this Earth I am not going to pass tomorrow.
So why am I so nervous?
I hate speaking in front of people in a formal setting.
I did poetry out loud this year and got second place in my school, but I did it trembling and breathing nervously all the while. I must say that I have improved since the beginning of the year, but that's not saying much. Truly.
Anyway, I'm going to jump for joy and possibly cry when I pass my board tomorrow.
Maybe I'll go play world of warcraft for a couple hours to de-stress.
Yeah.
That sounds good.
If I survive the endeavors of tomorrow, I'll post my score. If not, I'll probably go up to my room after school face in pillow for hours.
Enjoy April 19th fellow humans.
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